When I was in college, there was always moments in classes that had to do with my degree, mathematics, where the text book would say something like “this proof left as an exercise for the reader”. The implication of this phrase is that the proof is trivial and there is no need to spill extra textbook ink on laying out the obvious. The problem with coming across these texts, is that sometimes I had no idea what was so obvious: it was clear the writer of the book and I were on much different pages. Obviously in this case I was sort of screwed as learning the material was in my interests. There’s another time when I get a similar feeling, but have no interest in learning the material and that’s when I read conspiracy theories: I’m happy to nod along and keep flipping pages just to get the caricature of a world view that I don’t see.
Outside of the terrible amount of death, illness, and racism that Covid-19 has brought, there has been a bit of joy to be had by reading into the conspiracy theories it has also spawned. And not just readings, but WATCHING people explain them, as they spread their arms out to a waiting audience that is their echo chamber as if to say “do I really have to say this out loud? Talk about this thing that we all know is so obvious??!?” And in this manner I’ve been learning about the child slaves in tunnels under Central Park, 5G creating Covid-19, Bill Gates funding the creation of the virus (and subsequently making a vaccine that will, obviously, have nanobots in it to take control of my… something), different countries/different organizations releasing the virus, etc.
I love how the phrase “and then, you know…”, poised as a preface to indicating the sentence logic is as ubiquitous as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but is more of a clam and pineapple flavored yogurt. “I went to the store to pick up some milk and then, you know… lit the building on fire.” I had a friend who said to me in response to things going really good with a woman he was seeing, “she’s really great and, you know, my calves are really soar” delivered with a knowing nod.
Nope. Not on the same page.
And I get that some of these conspiracies should be pushed back on with facts versus just laughed at, as some lead down roads to places like the creation of the anti-vaxxer movement, but anything that is QAnon adjacent I find to be of equal entertainment as trashy tv; something to watch in a Greyhound bus station or briefly stew in while eating a Dorrito (get out of here ranch flavor people).
I’m curious what conspiracy theories give to people outside of a satisfaction that they know something that others don’t. Everything I’ve been thinking about recently has been through the lens of tools that shape tools: culture being a tool to shape an individual, but also individuals are tools to shape culture. If we become focused on only one part of this dynamic we lose the brackish moment of tool and output; the salty/sweet that I think we all end up finding value in.
A conspiracy theory is a bit like the creation of a tool without a need for use. Just like making a language full of words and no poetry.
Anywho. I gotta get back to looking for lizard people.